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So no matter where you're going, I will go there, too

This song wasn't written for adoption. It was written by Steven Curtis Chapman for his wife who was going through a very deep depression.  I love her transparency and it was in reading her book that I decided all Christians should live transparent lives.  Because of that, I love the lyrics to so many of his songs.

Our first adoption story was not unicorns, sunshine, butterflies, etc.  It was hard.  So much harder than what I was expecting (and I was totally expecting hard).  All I could see around me were "easy" adoption stories where it appeared that a choir followed their family around singing praises of the perfection that they were.  It was frustrating because I thought we were alone.  I finally read a blog post by Jen Hatmaker about adoption that was so real I was laughing and crying simultaneously.

Guys, sometimes is adoption is hard.  Sometimes kids come to us full of trauma and hurts that run so deep.  And guess what?  You won't have the power to heal that or t…
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Misfit heroes

Broken Things Matthew West
If grace was a kingdom
I stopped at the gate
Thinking I don't deserve to pass through after all the mistakes that I've made

Oh but I heard a whisper
As Heaven bent down
Said, "Child, don't you know that the first will be last and the last get a crown"

Now I'm just a beggar in the presence of a King
I wish I could bring so much more
But if it's true You use broken things
Then here I am Lord, I'm all Yours

The pages of history they tell me it's true
That it's never the perfect; it's always the ones with the scars that You use

It's the rebels and the prodigals; it's the humble and the weak
All the misfit heroes You chose
Tell me there's hope for sinners like me

Now I'm just a beggar in the presence of a King
I wish I could bring so much more
But if it's true You use broken things
Then here I am Lord, I'm all Yours

Grace is a kingdom
With gates open wide
There's a seat at the table just wai…

I'm gonna make this place your home

Hold on, to me as we go As we roll down this unfamiliar road And although this wave is stringing us along Just know you’re not alone 'Cause I’m going to make this place your home
It was five years ago today that we first met Avalyn in person.  At first, it was a thing of beauty.  She reached out to touch my face and I cried the tears of 5 billion mixed emotions.  We met her birth family and they got to meet us and ask questions. Kyle managed to share the plan of salvation with them. But by the end of day one, she was pretty ticked that we existed.  It would take a lot of months for that feeling to start to leave her.  I remember being told to give it 6 weeks of isolation so that she could bond.  Ummm...why did I actually believe all it would take was 6 weeks?  

Settle down, it'll all be clear Don't pay no mind to the demons They fill you with fear The trouble it might drag you down If you get lost, you can always be found

Anyway, we spent 10 days in Taiwan during the Chinese New Year…

In a moment, you were wrapped up in our hearts. We took a step of faith and now here we are.

The email with his file came and there he was, this little guy with a repaired cleft lip scar and those beautiful Asian eyes (extra almond shaped because of his Down syndrome) and I thought he looked like an Edwards.  Even at that, I had my list of why we couldn't adopt and I gave that list to God.  Well, God had His own plans (of course) and now here we are.

And then we saw your face In a moment, you were wrapped up in our hearts We took a step of faith And now here we are
This is our second adoption.  I can hardly believe that I'm typing that!  He's in the same orphanage that Avalyn once lived in and was born just 3 weeks after we left Taiwan with her.  We spent 3 days in that orphanage with the kids in Avalyn's group and leaving with her on that final day was so bittersweet.  I was so thrilled to finally have our Gotcha Day, but so sad that there were still little faces that room behind her.  I never actually imagined that we'd be going back (I had actually hoped, th…